For Goodwillie, seriousness also hints at the open arming of the dating app and deeply uncooked food as a mechanism for finding love. “My mom always says, ‘You meet someone when you least expect it.’ “When I look at my profile, I kind of feel like I’m always in my head. So, I feel like I tend to be inclined to the profile that seems to have the same casual attitude towards it. ”
Will Gray, 26, of Nashville, was also postponed by his profile that he felt was too serious. He saw a response to the hinge prompt, and he thought he was too sincere, for example: “What I’m looking for: A person always supports me through thick, thin men.”
“I’m very judged. I think that’s part of what the app does – they give you judgment,” he said.
He was disgusted by the serious response when he created his profile. When he answers the app’s prompts, he wants to get out of sarcastic and relaxed situations, feeling “too serious threat”. He described his profile as “semi-conspiracy” and “somewhat ironic”.
“This part is just that I don’t want to be vulnerable or unsafe,” he said.
Long-term love
Gray admits that this self-awareness hinders young people’s ability to get what they might want from the app: love and company. “Frankly, people who bring serious and serious energy may have the longest success because they are open, vulnerable, serious, and clear about what they want.”
Anabelle Williams, 25, of Brooklyn, agrees with Gray that directness on the application can be an important indicator of success. Her friend said she was looking for a long-term relationship and now has one with someone who clearly stated the same wish.
But in Williams’ own online dating life, some say they are looking for “the biggest red flag I could have seen”, which she says is “embarrassing.” “When I saw someone saying ‘Looking for a long-term relationship’, I was like, ‘Okay, you’re not looking for me. You’re just looking for anyone.”
Similarly, Liam Katz, 24, of Brooklyn, described the sincerity of the dating app as “unnatural.” He compared the serious online dating profile to “photos of people who are alone in front of the Statue of Liberty.”
“When you go to a party with someone, it’s rare to think, ‘Oh yeah, by the way, I don’t smoke a lot, I’m looking for a short-term relationship, that’s my sign.” That’s not how people start talking,” Katz said. He called this level of immediate disclosure “ridiculous.”
“Often, this starts with you kidding,” he said. “It’s kind of lost, and I think the dating app is like, for example, ‘I’m looking for one that’s this, and it’s the perfect guy. This guy is right for me to play, let’s go out.” I think that’s a kind of lame and sadness. ”
